Nauseous Trilogy

 A recent spate of illness in the family reminded me of the nauseous home remedy trilogy of my childhood:

 1) Egg Flip
2) The-drink-that-must-not-be-named
3) The caked and crusted throat cure

My grandma whole heartedly believed in the medicinal properties of each of these home remedies – and relentlessly applied / poured them down or on my throat.

Here are the recipes for each, in case you want to subjugate your kiddies to the same sadistic rituals:

Egg Flip – Beat together some brandy, water, RAW egg, sugar and grated nutmeg – Till the vile mixture stands up in stiff peaks… Pour down child’s throat while holding the nose shut and with a vice like grip on the arms…
Believed to be strengthening and in general good for health.

The-drink-that-must-not-be-named – Hot milk, turmeric and garlic! Follow same serving procedure as above.
Good for cold it seems…

The caked and crusted throat cure – Make a paste of ‘chunnam’ (the pink stuff that is put into beetle leaves) and kachampuli (A divine Coorgi cooking vinegar that has the look and consistency of tar) and apply on child’s throat in a thick layer. Allow to dry till cracked and itchy. Under no circumstances allow the child to wash the concoction off…

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2 responses to “Nauseous Trilogy

  1. ..aren’t you the same nut that put that putrid, dung-smelling Alloe-crap-vera every night till the ungodly weed turned from succulent plant to scarred wreck. And the stench..yetch. Yeah, blame the gradma.

  2. Good God! I don’t envy you your ‘illnesses’! But then the first one was not even about an illness no? I don’t envy u at all..

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